Hello everyone. I've been going through so much over the past few months and I have been doing ok mentally up until the last week or so. I am asking for anyone who is willing to to pray for me so that I may have the strength that I need to continue to move in a forward motion. Here is my situation: my husband went to stay with his mother recently so that he could find work because he has not been able to work where we are. However, he tells me a couple of weeks ago that he really left because he feels that he cannot live with me anymore. He now considers us "seperated" and tells me that it is up to me to show him the attention that he "needs" before he will consider working things out. I feel as if he has placed HIS feelings above ALL else. I have been a sahm mom of our two girls for five years now and I recently started college and along with the other things that I volunteer my time for, my plate is full, and now it seems that I need to find a job because I simply cannot depend on him. Add on top of that a car that does not want to run for more than a couple of months at a time, and you can see how I may be feeling stressed. I am hearbroken about my marriage, I feel I need to be able to depend on him, he says that for him to be dependable I need to give him more attention, so it looks like our lines are drawn in the sand and nobody wants to be the one to budge. My girls can feel that things are not good, and they miss him terribly and I am the one who gets to deal with their outbursts when they are overwhelmed. Things are just a mess right now, and I am not sure how I can juggle all of the responsibilites by myself. I am asking that you ladies pray for my strength to make it through this, help for my marriage if it is to be, optimism rather than pessimism for my husband (as it is a sad thing to look at life so negatively), comfort for my kids, and a job for myself that won't disrupt our family life too much. I know that this is long, but it feels good to get it all out! I've read many of the posts here, and they give me hope. I also said a "group" prayer that all of you out there may be blessed, have good health, and overcome any obstacles in your way. Happy Easter to everyone!

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Crystal

Well..i always heard if you have nothing nice to say don't say anything at all....BUT i gotta say something and i hope you won't be offended by what i'm gonna say.
I've never heard of such a selfish thing as what your husband did to you and your kids. Attention? Sounds like he is pretty immature, once kids come along most of the mothers attention is on them to deal with everything from school, chauffeuring and what not. Then to tell you he is moving in with his mom to get a job instead of being man enough to tell you why he moved? Unexcusable in my eyes.
Seems like he's more worried about himself than to worry about his children and wife.
I can't tell from your post what your plans are regarding your marriage and whatever you choose to do i wish you the best of luck if it be counselling, reconsiliation or seperation.
Your kids will be fine sooner or later no matter what decision you come to, mine were when i was in a similar situation.
Here is what i suggest:
Get on foodstamps
File for temporary support
Find a job
Accept any help that is offered to you to make this easier on you
If you have family nearby see if they can help out watching your children while you work
years back when my husband and i seperated a friend let me move in with her so i can get on my feet, i had only met her twice before, we became friends online..i stayed 6 months at her house completely lost, depressed, then i had a family emergency and had to fly home to germany, i lost both parents in a month, my husband then was a complete jerk while i was over there. When i came back my anger toward him made me focus on getting out of my rut, i got a job, moved into an efficiency apt, it wasn't easy but things got easier after a while..years later i met a nice guy and we've been together now 6 years, bought a house together and my kids are grown responsibe (ok well mostly lol) kids. One thing that i regret today is that i always wanted to keep the peace with my husband..never filed for temporary support lots of times i never got a dime, but he would step up if i was really really in a bind. He was never a bad dad, i never kept him from spending time with the kids, the issues we had were between me and him, not the kids. Looking back now i could have made things easier for me and realize my struggling and trying to keep the peace instead of fighting what i was entitled for wasn't really fair to my kids.
So keep your head up, things will get better no matter what the outcome might be. I'll pray for you!

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Britta
German and taking over CVS and Walgreens one coupon at a time!
http://aprayerforasher.blogspot.com

All I have to say is "Amen Britta" been there done that!!!!! Grab your boot straps and pull them up and make a better live for you and your girls!!!!! I am pretty sure that there are others like Britta and I on this site that has been thru the same thing and we will be here for you!!!

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Karen Hazelwood

Yup! Been there, done that, got the scars, and healed them over! You just stay focused on God and your babies, and you'll do fine. Take one day at a time, one situation at a time, step by step. Life is a marathon, not a sprint. Don't be afraid to ask for help, or just vent. We're here for you!!!!

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I'm a coupon ninja...I swoop in and grab the deals before they even know what hit them!

Whenever your feeling down and out, remember, someone, somewhere is thinking about you : )

I read your other post on the coupon board earlier today and have been thinking about you all day. I pray for you to have strength and the courage to go on during this time. If you dont already, sign up for free samples - i swear i get something free i actually use every day! You already coupon so that helps - ask friends/family/neighbors for their coupons from the sunday paper if they dont use them. Good Luck! Be Strong!

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ok You need to call that Hubby and tell him to MAN UP!! he is acting like a spoiled BRAT!!
I am sorry and I do not mean to be rude or harsh But Let me tell you the story about my friend and then tell him to put that in his pipe and smoke it!!

I am helping out a friend who is fighting cancer her treatments have been harsh rough knocked her on her butt cancer treatment is NOT easy... and her family who lives close by have done jack snot to help them out she has always been the one who helped other out
She is having 16 round YES 16 round of chemo Then more surgery and then Radiation treatment.... and then more surgey.
They have growing medical bills that make the national debt seem small . Even though their savings is gone they have been living on it to make up for the missing income and now that money tree is GONE They are selling everything they own...and losing EVERYTHING ELSE~! The house their kids grew up in GONE!
she deals with the guilt of not being able to work and her HUBBY says it is ok and tells her everyday it will be ok. he works doubles to help out.....
She even told her hubby to divorce her she has been sick for many months now and has not been able to do a lot of stuff like giving him attention! Their lives have revolved around her and her getting treatment and better because to him NOTHING MATTERS BUT THE LIFE OF HIS WIFE!
Part of being married is about giving 110% when the other can't. Understanding.... Knowing it will get better by the grace of God It always does! It is not easy for him to work 12 hour days then to come home and help a sick wife... she and i do what we can and if he comes home and the house is a mess he is ok with it laundry did not get done and he needs work clothing done he grabs them and get them done... and never complains about it! all's he wants is for his wife to get better.........he wants to see her laugh and to see her smile. he hates to see her in pain and suffering and scared. His wife is going through HEll and all's he can think of is HER NEEDS NOT HIS! and funny how she is going through hell and can only think of ways to help him to take pressure off of him.. she does what she can to help out ...........That is what a marriage is about! it is not about bailing out when the going gets tough!
So any man or woman who is having a tuff time and wants to have a pitty party and bail out because there is a rough spot in the road well they need to MAN up and see what all they have!!
Ok so I am overly emotional today My friend had chemo yesterday and today her hubby had to go work a double and it kills him to have to leave here... you can see it in his eyes...she smiles and tells him it is ok she will be ok and promises not to try to be superwoman today...
THATS THE MEASURE OF A MAN! AND LOVE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE!!!!
So I suggest that you call him and tell him to MAN UP THINGS ARE ROUGH ALL OVER AND TO BE **** HAPPY HE HAS A HEALTHY WIFE AND KIDS BECAUSE THAT I COULD BE OVER IN A BLINK....
sorry to be so hard but when you see what is going on with my friends what he did was just childish!

Thundersnow!

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Sometimes life just takes courage!

I want to thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers. It means so much to know that there are people out there to back you up when you need it. Things have not gotten any better and there has been added drama, and I finally decided that enough is enough. We have a long past full of ups and MANY downs which I have stayed through in an attempt to keep my family together, but I feel like I have put up with enough. He is kinda freaking out right now because he sees that I am no longer willing to play his games but I told him that he is the one who left, he made this mess, and I am done. It was probably the hardest thing that I have ever had to do, and I am concerned for him because I know that this (reality) is hitting him hard, but I have to stand up for myself and our girls. I know that there is a long road ahead of me so, if you would, please keep us in your prayers. I really appreciate it. I hope that everyone has a great evening and I send prayers for blessings to all of you.

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Crystal

Stay strong!

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May God bless u in many ways!

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Saving in March 2009 $26.67 and still going!